Mind Babble.

I give way too much support to people who need it. I flower them with advice and great words quoted from films, songs and authors, just to make my long motivational messages a little more happy and hopeful. I throw words like they’re confetti, all pretty and colourful, but an eventual absolute waste. What is the point? No, really?
I've done so much to help people, and in actual instances it has worked…but what about myself? I wish I could implement all that I said? I wish I could stop over rationalizing whatever I thought. I wish, just wish that someday, I’d genuinely feel what I wrote.

Maybe failure does this to people. It gives them the right ideas of bouncing back, but still lets them just stay as mental scenarios played by the con artists in their head. When does one realize enough is enough? Where does he find that inspiration that kept him going, until life threw a few blows right at his face? When? What? How? Why?
All we can do is ask…and maybe wait.

At times, we really do end up questioning our self-worth. We do question our life decisions, our choices, our lifestyles, our thinking, everything. All that we stood for seems just so hollow and meaningless suddenly. The scarlet of courage and bravery is washed out by the greys of doubt and sadness. An eventual black too, sometimes.

This feeling is so detrimental, because everyone expects you to bounce back, come back to life, and all that mumbo-jumbo bullshit. 

Thrown by phrases like, you have no choice, make the best of it, it is what it is, maybe something good will arise out of it…you probably start to believe that feeling not so great is wrong. You have this whole mental pressure of being the post-Cancer Tour de France winner-version of Lance Armstrong. People don’t want to see you fail, feel miserable, struggle and then emerge. All they want is the final step. Victory.

Well, I’d pretty much say a large FUCK YOU to that, on normal circumstances…but being where I am, right or wrong aren't as simple as black and white. In fact, it’s more like a PMS’y woman trying to give directions.  

(Yeah, I just sort of said that.)

Guess it really is what it is. Maybe we just hang in there, not give up and exist for as long as the epiphany strikes. Life has never abandoned anyone on the chance front. Maybe yours will come, mine too.

Until then, you stick around.

Renewed.

I haven't been writing much. In fact, I haven't been writing at all; except those moments wherein I've tried to squeeze out all my creativity to only land up with something demeaning and dark. Guess it was indeed a long drawn phase of unnecessary withdrawal..but now, it's time to take complete charge of myself, and my life. What I always stood for and believed in, has been completely washed away in the past 8 months. My life has changed in such a large manner, that I can never really identify with who I am. While I still watch myself slowly float out of this indecisiveness, a few things about me are clearly for the keeps. :)

PS: I've completely changed my blog style. I want my blog and my writing to reflect on who I am, not on only the negative aspect of instances in my life. There's a lot I'm taking out of life around me, but sadly not giving it the sort of importance it deserves.

You've got to embrace the change.
Stand up for yourself.
Fight the system.
Love a lot.
Live crazily.
Feel happy.
And above all, never ever in the process, lose your true identity. :)

Eternity?

Loneliness crept in, as the sun set lightly across velvety skies, leaving a shade of hazy amidst those crisp clouds. Vast mountains fortified the greatness of that empty table land, below which roofs of huts looked like clusters of bright M&M's. The deep flavour of Fir trees tingled her nose, as exhilaration lifted her soul to the heart of nature. She felt her eyes get moist. Just like those lightening flashbacks, memories of the past whisked her mind. She needed him around, just as a weeping child would need the warm comfort of his mother's arms.
There within the arms of his embrace, she felt everything safe. His soft caress would send in fuzzy feelings of happiness throughout her tiny being. There she was, in her own safe cavern. A place where she belonged. Where they belonged. He wasn't far away, he wasn't gone. He was no one's but hers. Love was theirs to cherish. The hollowness was just an augmented figment of her myriad thoughts that accounted for a large chunk of the recent detachment she felt. But then again, love has it's mysterious ways. It keeps people together and binds them with strong threads..for eternity, maybe! 

Go On, Smile :)

It takes a while for one to realize that they themselves hold the key to their own happiness. We often believe that making others happy, being there for them as their pillar of support during dark times is our own way of finding that bit of eternal happiness. 

This myth is so strongly engraved into our value systems, that in the true test of times, we fail.
We fail miserably. 

No one, but us, hold the key to the secret chamber of our happiness. We need to know what is it that makes us feel good about ourselves, as human beings. 
If one cannot truly love himself, he's never going to be happy.

You need to enjoy your own company. You need to feel full of radiance..and eventually, better things fall into place. 
Its the law of the land.
Man was born a little selfish. Society made him care, but not at the cost of him losing his own identity!

We are like spices. We add a little flavor to the food, even though we get a little lost..we stand out. Why?
Because each of us are different. 
Each of us are masterpieces of a well-crafted entity. 
Each of us, are US. 

So go out there, add a little bit of yourself and make the world a culinary genius. :)