Mind Babble.

I give way too much support to people who need it. I flower them with advice and great words quoted from films, songs and authors, just to make my long motivational messages a little more happy and hopeful. I throw words like they’re confetti, all pretty and colourful, but an eventual absolute waste. What is the point? No, really?
I've done so much to help people, and in actual instances it has worked…but what about myself? I wish I could implement all that I said? I wish I could stop over rationalizing whatever I thought. I wish, just wish that someday, I’d genuinely feel what I wrote.

Maybe failure does this to people. It gives them the right ideas of bouncing back, but still lets them just stay as mental scenarios played by the con artists in their head. When does one realize enough is enough? Where does he find that inspiration that kept him going, until life threw a few blows right at his face? When? What? How? Why?
All we can do is ask…and maybe wait.

At times, we really do end up questioning our self-worth. We do question our life decisions, our choices, our lifestyles, our thinking, everything. All that we stood for seems just so hollow and meaningless suddenly. The scarlet of courage and bravery is washed out by the greys of doubt and sadness. An eventual black too, sometimes.

This feeling is so detrimental, because everyone expects you to bounce back, come back to life, and all that mumbo-jumbo bullshit. 

Thrown by phrases like, you have no choice, make the best of it, it is what it is, maybe something good will arise out of it…you probably start to believe that feeling not so great is wrong. You have this whole mental pressure of being the post-Cancer Tour de France winner-version of Lance Armstrong. People don’t want to see you fail, feel miserable, struggle and then emerge. All they want is the final step. Victory.

Well, I’d pretty much say a large FUCK YOU to that, on normal circumstances…but being where I am, right or wrong aren't as simple as black and white. In fact, it’s more like a PMS’y woman trying to give directions.  

(Yeah, I just sort of said that.)

Guess it really is what it is. Maybe we just hang in there, not give up and exist for as long as the epiphany strikes. Life has never abandoned anyone on the chance front. Maybe yours will come, mine too.

Until then, you stick around.

Eternity?

Loneliness crept in, as the sun set lightly across velvety skies, leaving a shade of hazy amidst those crisp clouds. Vast mountains fortified the greatness of that empty table land, below which roofs of huts looked like clusters of bright M&M's. The deep flavour of Fir trees tingled her nose, as exhilaration lifted her soul to the heart of nature. She felt her eyes get moist. Just like those lightening flashbacks, memories of the past whisked her mind. She needed him around, just as a weeping child would need the warm comfort of his mother's arms.
There within the arms of his embrace, she felt everything safe. His soft caress would send in fuzzy feelings of happiness throughout her tiny being. There she was, in her own safe cavern. A place where she belonged. Where they belonged. He wasn't far away, he wasn't gone. He was no one's but hers. Love was theirs to cherish. The hollowness was just an augmented figment of her myriad thoughts that accounted for a large chunk of the recent detachment she felt. But then again, love has it's mysterious ways. It keeps people together and binds them with strong threads..for eternity, maybe! 

On Being Strong ..

She stares at her life flashing by, just like in the movies. Except that every scene here was nothing but reality. Nothing but a true manifestation of what she had gone through, witnessed or experienced.
Standing at the edge of the sea, watching the waves crash against the rocks, with only a hint of deep moonlight highlighting it's depth, she contemplates on right and wrong.
She muses over the World's silly ways, and smiles, for she'll be long gone, to hear them chatter.

As a spray of the cold ocean water hits her face, reality brings her back into it's vortex. They say reality is bad, but at times, it can prove to be the exact opposite. She remembers all the good times..
Her friends. Her family. Her work. her love.
Everything!
Realizing her entire life is still left ahead of her, a tiny tear slips down her pretty face as she imagines what all she can do.
What all she can be.
All those dreams and hopes turning to reality.
All those relationships lasting forever.

Standing upright, in the cold, eerie night, she now has the knowledge of right and wrong. She knows that the right things aren't always easy, but going down the difficult path will make her strong.
After lingering in the beauty of the night, for a while, she carefully steps off the bridge. And walks away victorious, under the glittering stars to her rightful destiny!

'Nuff Said :)