Renewed.

I haven't been writing much. In fact, I haven't been writing at all; except those moments wherein I've tried to squeeze out all my creativity to only land up with something demeaning and dark. Guess it was indeed a long drawn phase of unnecessary withdrawal..but now, it's time to take complete charge of myself, and my life. What I always stood for and believed in, has been completely washed away in the past 8 months. My life has changed in such a large manner, that I can never really identify with who I am. While I still watch myself slowly float out of this indecisiveness, a few things about me are clearly for the keeps. :)

PS: I've completely changed my blog style. I want my blog and my writing to reflect on who I am, not on only the negative aspect of instances in my life. There's a lot I'm taking out of life around me, but sadly not giving it the sort of importance it deserves.

You've got to embrace the change.
Stand up for yourself.
Fight the system.
Love a lot.
Live crazily.
Feel happy.
And above all, never ever in the process, lose your true identity. :)

Two.

Two. 

We're two. 

In a world of fear. 

She loves being cared. 

And I, I love my tomb of silence. 

I stay and muse on the ghosts around. 

She's an undefined part - one I'll never get.

I'm just her harlot. Her slave. Her faithful minion.

She doesn't know where she'll get. What she'll become.

But me. I know. I know it all. I'm there at the back. Forgotten. 

When the clocks strike, and the moon disappears. She'll turn to me. 

And I, I'll silently whisper words of resurrection. For, we're one. Always. 

Lies.

Soft mellow eyes. Hurtful truths.
Why would you want them to be,
An epoch in your memory?
Wrathfully sewn and carefully silenced.
Illusioned to love.
Illusioned to lust.
An underlying ghost of past shadows.
Nothing concrete.
Nothing strong.
Just a string of indelible words.
Shattered minds of a thousand lives,
Cracked reflections of broken mirrors.
Yet they defy who you are,
A mystery to the mind's soul.
As simple as black or white,
Dark moonlit river of lies. 

The Experiment.

There's only one way in which you'd ever comprehend the feeling of the wooden dust underneath your feet, the harsh warmth of the spotlight on your head, and the crystal blackness filled with ghastly yet curious eyes staring right at you. And you, you stand there taking in all you have to deliver your last bit of being a person re-created by ghost writers who make a new you by just stringing in words. That's when you gather up all you have, look straight in their eyes and speak. An extension of words revised by you numerous times flows out of your mouth, but this time, it's different. It's not you. An outburst of applause and a curtain call snap your trance, but that feeling you just experienced is bliss..pure exhilaration.

I spent a large part of my school days standing on stage, either acting or debating. Back then, never did I get the chance to know what it felt like to run my own production. To host my own shows. To do ALL the backstage work. Or to just stand up on a pedestal and motivate my team before it's final show.
And now, finally, after coming to Symbiosis, I did find a like minded friend along with whom I founded our college's first theatrical production house. We both had excellent parallel ideas on innovative theatre and are finally putting up our first show in March, 2013. We decided to call ourselves "The Experiment."

Our first logo designed by a friend, Harsha Biyani. 

Eternity?

Loneliness crept in, as the sun set lightly across velvety skies, leaving a shade of hazy amidst those crisp clouds. Vast mountains fortified the greatness of that empty table land, below which roofs of huts looked like clusters of bright M&M's. The deep flavour of Fir trees tingled her nose, as exhilaration lifted her soul to the heart of nature. She felt her eyes get moist. Just like those lightening flashbacks, memories of the past whisked her mind. She needed him around, just as a weeping child would need the warm comfort of his mother's arms.
There within the arms of his embrace, she felt everything safe. His soft caress would send in fuzzy feelings of happiness throughout her tiny being. There she was, in her own safe cavern. A place where she belonged. Where they belonged. He wasn't far away, he wasn't gone. He was no one's but hers. Love was theirs to cherish. The hollowness was just an augmented figment of her myriad thoughts that accounted for a large chunk of the recent detachment she felt. But then again, love has it's mysterious ways. It keeps people together and binds them with strong threads..for eternity, maybe! 

Through My Teeth.

Her nimble fingers tremble, as she daintily wraps her arms around his neck. He embraces her in a deep, passionate kiss, while she breathed in the deep stench of his cigarettes and tasted his lips, bitter from last night's adventures.

The slight tremble of her body gave him enough evidence of the fear that engulfed her soul. She knew his end was not a far, distant fact. It was now..right this moment. All those dreams of white gowns and pretty dances faded with the clink of champagne glasses, just as though a thousand shards of glass would shatter on the floor with that deafened ringing.

One last time he closed his eyes, clenched her hand, feeling her finger nails numb his fist. The grip loosened, and she gave out a deep, bellowed cry.

Fist still clenched, eyes blood red, she stared at her light silhouette in the mirror. Another one of those nightmares that kept her up all night. Another one of those fears.
Another love lost.

Go Away!

When I look for support in you
All I see are those cold distant eyes
Haunted by the memories of the past
An epoch in your history of lies.

I wonder what I thought, when I made those promises,
Maybe a ray of hope, a sign of change..
A little sympathy. A little care.
But life can never seem fair!

"Go away", you say to me,
"This is not how it's meant to be"..
But I cling on, for the fear of being
An addict all alone, not been seen!

So all I ask is a little love,
A pat on the back, a kiss or a hug.
A little pretension to illusion me,
"Go away, you little freak!"


This was written randomly, as part of a challenge put fourth by a friend of mine. It reflects no feelings of mine, whatsoever :)